Let me start by saying that I have been on many dates before I actually met my husband. There have been plenty of good ones, but also plenty of not so good ones. The truth is - It’s not all about the first date itself, but also what happens afterwards. Here is how to win a girl over on a first date in just 7 steps (and score a second one!).
Let’s begin!
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Don’t Be Late
Sounds obvious, but hear me out. Don’t be late for a first date. Just don’t. Even though women are late all the time to first dates, you need to make sure that you, as a gentleman, set the stage by arriving on time. If you have other commitments that came up unexpectedly, let her know as soon as possible and make sure to reschedule for another day right away. Otherwise, she might take it as you aren’t serious about your date and developing a relationship.
2. Listen More Than You Talk
We all love to talk about ourselves and our accomplishments, but do we really listen? Do we really understand where the other person is coming from and ask questions to understand better? It’s a huge turn-off when the person you are with only talks about themselves.
So it goes like this: Guy talks about himself and his work for 20 minutes, then he finally asks what his date does for a living. She only has a chance to say that she works around the corner as he proceeds to talk about the cafe across from her workplace and how great their buffalo wings are.
You get the point. I am not saying to avoid sharing your interests and things about yourself, but make sure to listen to what she is saying, ask her questions to clarify, and acknowledge it before changing the subject.
3. Figure Out What She Likes
This one goes hand in hand with the previous step, but I wanted to bring special attention to it and for a good reason. The third step of how to win over a girl on a first date, try to figure out what she likes: her favorite color, favorite flowers, what her favorite hobbies are, what kind of movies she enjoys watching, etc. While you ask all that - take notes (the phone works just fine - just don’t make it obvious). There is nothing more impressive than a man who takes a girl to see her favorite movie on the second date or sends her baby blue roses because she told him they’re her favorite. She will think to herself: “HE ACTUALLY LISTENED TO WHAT I SAID” (happy cry) and “He is the ONE”. You are welcome.
4. Pay for The Date
Be a gentleman and pay for the date. I don’t care that she has a great job, is very independent, or you tried to pay but she declined. YOU MUST PAY FOR THE GIRL you are with, unless you don’t want to see her again. No splitting the bill, no “its ok, you can leave a tip”, no “you can get drinks at the bar after;” none of it should be said under any circumstances. If you can’t afford to pay for a date, why did you invite her anyway? Pick a place that suits your budget, no need to go super fancy. Coffee shop? Why not! As long as you show her that you appreciate her time by taking care of her food or drink. That will go a long way in winning over a girl on a first date.
5. Let Her Lead
After the date is over, follow her lead. Whether it’s a hug, kiss, or neither - it’s her choice. Definitely show the interest and keep eye contact, but don’t cross boundaries, because she might be taking things slowly. (As a fun fact, I first kissed my husband on the 4th or 5th date). All women are different - don’t take it personally)
6. Send Her a Message
Send her a message thanking her for the date after you get home or the next morning. Express that you are looking forward to seeing her again soon. From that point, you can see if she is interested or not, but if you followed the steps above, I promise she will be interested. There is no need to send multiple messages if she didn’t have a chance to respond to the first one; that just looks desperate and can be a huge turn-off for many women. Meanwhile, continue with your life and even if you like her very much - DON’T SHOW HER THAT. Leave her guessing, but not ghosted. Once the second date is scheduled, you can go all in to impress her.
7. Send Her Flowers
Remember when I said to ask her questions and find out what her favorite things are? My husband, who is very far from the romantic type, remembered that I loved roses and spent a lot of time reading books. So he surprised me on a second date with yellow roses (he just randomly picked the color - yellow roses are superstitious where I am from…lol) and a book by Alexander Pushkin (welcome back to high school literature!).
Well, he tried! That meant so much to me as I knew I wasn’t just “another girl” for him at that exact moment. As a matter of fact, I saved one of the roses he gave me to keep as a memory of us.
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